Finally!

Well, we've finally done it!  We have made a decision and a plan and we are going forward with it.  Siu has struggled in school and with school since she started kindergarten.  Even back then, I wanted to home school her, but didn't have the nerve to.  I was afraid she would miss out on something, or I wouldn't do a good enough job, etc.  And then each year as I watched her getting further behind, caring less and less, that little spark of excitement for learning getting dimmer and dimmer, it broke my heart.  Those little voices kept coming back to consider teaching her myself.  But then other voices would whisper in my other ear, that I'm not organized enough, I'm not structured enough, I might not do a good enough job and teach her everything that she needs to learn.  But things are getting worse, not better and I can't watch her continue on this way any more.  Monday morning I am withdrawing her from public school and we will start our homeschooling experience together.

Why can't I teach her?  I'm have taken all the elementary education classes.  I did most of my student teaching.  I just didn't graduate, but I still have all the training of an elementary teacher.  I know how to plan and teach lessons, but most important I love my little girl more than anybody!  I want what's best for her and right now I'm what's best for her.

We are both excited for this new experience and we are looking forward to discovering and learning together.

Do You Ever Wonder?

Sometimes I wish I could be on a "It's a Wonderful Life" type reality show.  Wouldn't that be cool?  You could see how things would be different if you were never born.  I wonder that a lot actually.  What would life be like without me?  Probably a lot better for some people.  Has my life really made any difference to anybody?  Most of the time it feels to me like everybody would be better off without me.  It's just one of those kind of days.