'Tis the Season for Regrets

The past month has been going pretty well emotionally.  Then all of the sudden, last night I fell back down the hole.  I was thinking of all the things I would like a "do-over" for.  Here are a few:
         #1 HAS to be, I wish I would have graduated from college (big one, huge one!)
         #2 I wish I would have not made all money mistakes I have made over the years (and continue to make, will I EVER learn my lesson?!)
         #3 I wish I would have enjoyed my kids more when they were little.  I wish I would have played with them more, hugged them more, read to them more, listened to them more, and scolded them less.
         #4 I wish I would have been a nicer person.  Still can fix that one! 
         #5 Related to #2, I wish I would not have accumulated all the STUFF that I now have to deal with.
         #6 I wish I would have taken better care of myself, my body, my mental health, everything.
         #7 I wish I wouldn't have had a tubal ligation after I had Siu.  I really feel that we were supposed to have more children.  Even the our kids have told us that they feel there is "someone missing in our family".  Their words.
         #8 I wish I would have learned how, early on in our marriage, to be a good homemaker.  I pretty much suck at it! (And you know how I hate that word!)
         #9 I wish I would have taken care of  my friendships and kept in touch with people I care about.
         #10 I just wish I was BETTER.  I wish I was smarter, healthier, kinder, more spiritual, more organized, happier, a better wife, a better mother, a better person.

Right now I am paralyzed by my feelings of inadequacy.  Everywhere I look I see my failures.  I see my successes too (my kids), but today it's not enough.  I know I probably need some medication to help me get through these times, but the stubborn part of me doesn't want to admit that I need help.  I should be able to handle this on my own, right?  Today I don't know.  I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the day.