Thursday, January 21, 2010

Twenty-two years

Twenty-two years ago today I lost my mom. When I think about it all kinds of feelings and memories come back. My mom had rhematoid arthritis. She was diagnosed when I was three years old. I don't remember a time when she wasn't sick and in pain. Despite that, I have many happy memories of her and the time we spent together. My favorites are from the winter of my junior year in high school. My dad had been transferred to teach at a high school quite a ways from where we lived and so he stayed there during the week and only came home on the weekends. So it was just mom and I at home. That time together was a special gift that I think about with happy thoughts.

Mom was feeling pretty good that winter. We had fun eating whatever we wanted to and watching whatever we wanted to on our newly installed cable. That winter we watched the whole series of Anne of Green Gables on the Disney Channel. To this day I LOVE that series! We had so much fun anticipating the next episode. We laughed and just enjoyed being together. My mom could be so silly and fun when she felt good.

I wonder why this year is really bringing up the memories for me. It could be because my Nita (who is named after my mom) is the same age I was when my mom died. I can't believe that much time has passed. I have been married to Lincoln longer than I lived with my mom. I wonder what my kids will remember about me after I'm gone. I hope there are some good memories and not just the fact that I'm a witch most of the time and I yell too much.

I feel sad that my kids aren't getting to know their grandma. She was so cute with her grandkids and she loved them so much. She always wanted to do special things for them and get them little surprises, even though she couldn't always afford to do it. I know I get that desire to surprise and make fun little things from her. I love her, I miss her, I know I will see her again and she will be able to do all the things she wanted to and couldn't because her sick body wouldn't let her. I'm grateful that she is my mother.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What sweet thoughts about mom. I too have had a hard time this year. This birthday for me was the same age at which mom died, so that really struck me, how young she was and how this painful illness, arthritis, just destroyed her body. I wish more attention were paid to raising research monies to find a cure for rheumotid arthritis as other diseases.
I was blessed to spend the last two weeks of her life with her almost round the clock because of good friends and their supportive help with my kids. ~Michele~, you inspire me. Love you,Coleen